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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {